A pray to my dear & her granny

hey dear, i know u r sad since u get to know about ur granny's sickness. i know how helpless, heart-breaking and 无奈 u feel right now. i know u fall into the dilemma situation, wanna to bargain wi God, yet u too clearly know that He is the one who gives and takes away, He has the power above all. i know u r under a lot stress fr ur family as well acedemic; wanna to let ur granny get to know God, while u feel bad and frustrated for cant doing so. Dear, i know ur mind is having the great battle among the angel and devil again!!! i know u hate that situation yet u still hv to face it again and again in ur life...Well, i cant do anything for you besides pray and be at your side no matter whenever u need me :) Take care and may god bless and be with you :)

i hate insecticide, well, i did hv 3个打不死的蟑螂朋友

tonite, as usual la...after watching the 灵异档案, me and my sis and cousin kena halau by my papa to sleep again on 1130pm....Haih....wat to do, then go to sleep lo :(. Coz my house only got two rooms, so since i came back fr KL, i'm sleeping in the living room. Haha, dear, we seem like to sleep at living room very much oh :D haha, actually i quite like it to be a 厅长 eh. Hehe, coz i got my own big space, 1 big fan just for me :D hehehe...how nice it is oh ;p

My living area is a black listed areas for the mosquitoes. So, for my family's sake, spraying the insecticide becomes one of my papa's "hobby" or a must do rountine in his day!!! i know that he does this is for our sake, well...he got to know a fact is that insecticide is a kind of poison, it is harmful when overdoes (well, in my case is overuse). It doesn't mean that the insecticide itself is no good, is only the matter of how he uses the thing. He likes to spray it when he sees the mosquitoes fly over regardless wat we r doing, (eg: while eating, preparing the food) he'll jz spray it as he treats u as an "object". He doesn't kmow we do not like the smell even though we did tell him do not spray while we are eating, it is poison, it harmful to human body. But dear, guess wat....he'll said the mosquitoes oso hvnt die, how can u say that the insecticide will poison people!!! Ohhh my...really thousands of "wat the hack" coming out fr my mind.....where on the earth still got a person like my papa says things like tat. He still can say it with the 理直气壮的口气!!! Argh...really walau eh...bek ta han!!! There were so many times he sprayed the insecticide while i'm eating my breakfast, reading news paper or even sleeping!!! I was so so so annoyed it. Guess wat, most of my nap was awakened by the smell of the insecticide. Argh...hence, whenever i smell it, it makes me feel agitate. I was already so sigh when u asked me to go to sleep liao lo, moreover u lagi spray the insecticide around my bedding area and want me to sleep immediately without letting me to hang around to let the smell get over my bed....Walau eh....really nothing to say, speechless!!!

But think about it, me too so blessed to hv a papa like him la. He jz use the wrong way to express his love and care. Sometimes, me too quite pity for him in the sense that we children always complaining about what he does, always think that he is wrong. Hehe...but wat to do, we too got our point of view, he cant force us to think or act like him. No matter how many times we say to him, he'll only listen to wat he wants to listen--- selective hearing.... So, wat we do right now to communicate with him is to ignore him and do watever he wants us to do as long as it doesn't bring any really obvious negative impact for our family members. Jz like wat my mom always says 忍一时,风平浪静;退一步,海阔天空. As long as we 受一点委曲和吃点亏,可换来一家人的宁静, 那就够了 :)

haaa... i think my papa is the most blessed guy in the world to hv my mama as his wife while my mama is the most unlucky woman to hv my papa as his husband :) Hehe...as we three siblings are their products.... haha..duno la...leave it to god lo. Haha...He this great potter will mould us in the shape of wat He thinks is best for us :)

Hehe, however the incident, i did hv a sweet accompany fr chua sai zanne throughout the boring nite :D hehe,dear guess wat, we chatted thru the sms oh.Haha..u betcha, me panjang lebar in the sms again..Haha, u got to write a "服"字 to me liao leh, a wo po who can actually finished using the special promotion of the Hotlink which offered free 200 sms per month...

Haha... got to admit that indeed 3 of us loves to do so...SMS...haha, dun u agree wi me dear ;p We all really got a lot lot to say even by using sms. haha...guess wat?? last nite i received 15 sms fr ah zanne.Hehe...coz we too are all 巫婆一族 ma. tat's y we met together and cant be separated even we are in the different areas :D

Jz saw a fwd mail, thought it is best to describe of our friendship, wanna to share wi u guys :D
THE ROAD IS NEVER LONG BETWEEN FRIENDS
Sometimes in life, you find a special friend; Someone who changes your life just by being part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop; Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it.

An apologize fr 乌龟萍 to all of my beloved dears

Today, haaa.. as usual, i was awakened by the dog's bark!!! argh...really feel very tired fr both physically and mentally. Still cant get the quality sleep at home. Well, i think i got to learn to 认命吧. Just feel pity for my dear dogs, always simply get beaten by my granny .

I wonder y she always wants to beat the dogs!!! Y cant she just let it be?? i did know the fact that she doesn't likes the dogs and the dogs are really smelly bcoz of its skin diseases!!!

But the matter of fact is, the dogs are just sit still at its' own place, it doesn't simply go to hanging around in front of you purposely to try to annoy u!!! The dogs too are always sit aside u, since they know u dun like as well; yet, u r the one who always wanna to beat them whenever u see them.

Ohhhh please...i get enough of it!!! Whenever the dogs bark, it makes me feel terrify, i scare the dogs will bite my granny, i scare the dogs' bark will annoy my papa, coz he loves his two dears "daughters". If my papa get annoyed, haa....he'll just simply channel out his anger toward my mom or my sis (ohhh dear....they r the most innocent scapegoat in my house).

I really don't understand or may be is the fact that i do not want to understand gua!!! Get sick of it liao, no matter how many times we said to her, she'll do it again whenever she sees the dogs!!!

My younger sis said maybe this is her way to channel out her feeling as well, coz at home, there is no one to talk to her. So, she feels lonely too. When she talks to people, the people doesn't gives her any respone. However, when she "talks" to the dogs; in the sense she beats the dogs, the dogs will give her respone by barking to her.

Haha...wat a funny way that my sis said so. But, it let me have a deep thought about it. Yes, i got to admit, i did neglect her liao!!! Everyone got their own things to do and has their own problems to solve on everyday. Well, or may be i'm too selfish to accompany her??? haaa...i know my answer is the second one.

i only want people to care about me while i forget or even can be said LAZY to care about others.... Argh...how shameless am i!!!! Well, granny, wat can i say right now is only tones of sorry!!!! i know i did hurt u by the way i act, and makes u worry about my future.

Some times i choose to be silent is bcoz i myself dun even know wat shloud i do on next step; therefore, i really cant share wi u about my opinion. Is not that i dun wanna to share my problems with u guys, coz i scare that will be a burden for u guys. I know i shouldn't have those kind of thoughts. But, that's very normal for everyone to think so when they are facing with the problems. They just simply dun wanna to be burden of someone else.

So, most of the time, i choose to be quiet, be an autism kid. Well, i think that is the best for wat i can do right now to preserve the relationship among the family ever since i was came back fr canada.

I know i did change a lot. But, right now, wat am i very sure about it, is that i have to solve my own problem 1st!!! If i couldn't solve my own problem asap, i'm the one who will make u guys more worrier about me!!!

Please allow me some times to live like a shit.... and thru this process, i try my very best to pull myself together even though there's not a big and salient improvement that u guys can be even noticed. Well, in deep down, i did struggle for it....coz i'm using a lot lot of time to get adapt with it liao!!!

I'm too slow liao. Thus, i apologize for makes u guys worry and heartbreaking. Please forgive my selfishness for i cant always be there for everyone, i need a break; hence, i choose to be selfish for not wanting to try to put myself in my granny's shoes.

Haih...really no eye to see. And jz to say, granny, i'm so sorry for my cold blood toward u, coz i really dun want to take more burden upon myself liao!!! coz ur dearest grandaughter me is a person who doesn't know how to solve her own problems' useless person. Once confront with the problems, i choose to be a coward, i choose to be an ostrich....

But, i know that wat i need is just some time for me to think about it. Once get it thru, i'll be fine, dun worry :) Everyone needs some time to realize and thus solve their problem.

Well, me too not excluded. Yet, jz i need more times fr others in order to realize the problems and need extra time to go thru with it only. haha...suddenly think of 1 nick... dear ah, u can call me "乌龟萍". Always 反应迟钝,慢半拍!!!! :D